Rumor mill tells the Phantom star winger Blair Armstrong is fed up with word play on his name and has been protesting by not turning up to training. It started with Tooth Blairy, and then quickly avalanched to Blairman Mao, Musical Blairs, Blair Danes, Blair Jordans, Blairway to Heaven, and Care Blairs.
It wasn’t until somebody came up with Sonny and Blair with an accompanying photo (below) that Blair snapped and refused to partake in any Goannas activity henceforth. If anybody has heard of any additional Blair puns please release it to the public domain for full disclosure. The Phantom understands the player is distraught and has been found with blairy eyes.
Training track watchers tell of in-and-under tough nut Oceans Huynh not being so tough at training February 14th. Getting his wish of an intra-club practice match, he went down with an injury after 5 minutes grasping his leg like a bunyip stomped on it. The match was called off and minutes later Oceans was seen walking to the drink fountain with nary a limp. He has been accused of taking a dive because he was too tired to continue playing, and now comes under question as to whether he has run the compulsory 10km’s a week. It has been reported he must front the committee this Wednesday to explain himself and provide a photo of a satisfactory bruise.
Firsty Falls Short
Half-back dynamo Andrew Last has come under fire for only having one pair of shorts worn every day winter or summer. They are fluorescent orange and two sizes too short, following in the mini-shorts footsteps of big brother Daniel Last. The revealing nature of his lower half wardrobe has led to rumors his nickname will be changed from ‘Firsty’ to ‘Sacks’ in the immediate future. If anybody has any photographic evidence of Andrew in his fluorescent orange mini-shorts please release them for public disclosure. Also, please be wary this is a family club and any inappropriate parts in the image need to be censored.
Ghiradello Unrest Fails to Mellow
Coach and premiership ruckman Sam Ghiradello continues to be scrutinized for his brutal training regime. This time, forcing players to train in the muddy wet. Winger Daniel Last was most vocal stating the playing group wanted ex-coach Gordon Jones back as Gordon would “never allow us to train in the rain – especially if there was a Saints game on” (this quote has been apparently retracted). Later on he was heard to again say that Sam didn’t understand the stress training in the wet put on his family because his poor wife has to do his muddy laundry. The Phantom understands coach Sam has had enough of Daniel’s aversion to getting his feet wet and has decided to take a step back as coach next week instead letting Daniel do the coaching saying, “If you think you can do a better job, then why don’t you do it?”. The Phantom will look to follow this story as it develops.
Quote of the day: “Who are you trying to impress today with your thongs and skinny jeans?” – D Last