When the devastating tsunami hit the shores of Japan in 2011, the Goannas found themselves thrown into a wave of transition with players leaving the country en masse. The few left behind were tasked with manning the ship but with a crew low on numbers, things like club communication lines were severely affected.

With communication down, the club almost lost out on what would become a favorite son. It was only Dan Last's persistence that made sure this didn't eventuate. Speaking with him before his final game with the club, Last explained the close call.

"When I first arrived in Japan in early 2011 I promptly sent an inquiry via the Goannas website... No one got back to me! A year later I gave it another crack and thankfully ex-president Dan Aktins got back to me and I joined my first training session in April 2012". 

6 years later, it's time to farewell the concrete jungle for more sandy plains in Dubai and this week was good chance for Last to sit down and reflect on his early days.

"Some of my earliest memories include having my first kick with your good self at my first training session. Sneaking a goal on debut from a holding the ball free kick in the goal square. I didn't kick another goal until well into the next season after 17 straight behinds. 

"I'll also remember fondly long train rides back to Kita-ku from training with Big Trav (Travis Wilson)... in complete silence. Being welcomed to the club so warmly from the elder statesmen and women at the time. Appsy (Peter Apps) took me under his wing once he found out there was another Saint supporter within earshot. 

"Dan McGrath drove me home after my first game, Danno Atkins and Loz Parker took me surfing and gave me my snowboards.  Robbie Scarlett and Milts (Michael Milton) were always keen for a pint and parmy. Good times!"

So has it hit home yet that next weekend would be the final time pulling on the red and white?
"I don't think it has really sunk in yet. But when I get on the plane out of here I know that I'll be feeling very sad to be leaving such a great team and my best mates.

"The Goannas have given me so many opportunities and such brilliant support over the last six years. Whether that be material stuff like hand me downs when we had our daughter, or the leg ups with my career through connections and chances to grow as a leader through committee roles. In addition, my entire Japanese social circle essentially is centred around the Goannas. What started out as an opportunity to have a kick became the people most important to me in the country."

You could tell that sentiment is shared with his fellow team mates who have gone into battle with him each weekend. Peter Chalmers, who took over the captaincy this year from Last himself, spoke openly earlier in the week about what a loss Last will be for him personally.

"When I first reached out to the Goannas five years ago, Lasty turned up to a Bombers game at Hobs (the Goannas club house) to welcome me. On the day of my first training session, even though I was late, he waited at the station to show me the way to the ground. More recently, he was there to help me move house when I was at my lowest point. 

"He’s one of the most sincere and generous people I’ve ever had the privilege to meet. You always know with him that, despite whatever YouTube channel he’s peddling or one-liner he’s recycling, at the heart of Dan Last is an intuitive person who cares deeply for those around him. In this transient expat society, where people come and go and are eventually forgotten, Dan is a friend for life."

Former co-captain with Dan and current Goannas coach, Sam Ghirardello, spoke in kind when I caught up with him during the week:

"Every club has that one guy that really puts in on the field, and that one guy that really puts in off it - we’ve always had both in Dan. He’s the heart and soul of the club, a best mate to all, and an amazing father and husband at the same time. St Kilda will win their 2nd premiership before you find a better bloke. It’s been a pleasure playing with him and he will be sorely missed."

Sentiment aside, it is easy to forget the former club president and captain's football capabilities. Known for his elite endurance and one-percenters, the current club president Tom Bowes was eager to remind the wider public of this fact.

"A lot of people will want to talk about Dan as the ultimate friend or the ultimate club man but we shouldn’t forget his quality as a player. His endurance, closing speed and tackling ability are pretty rare at any level of the game. His effort and pressure were game changers too many times to count. Sometimes when clear on goal he’s been known to handball to an opponent, catch him holding the ball, then miss the set shot.

"It’s not the most efficient but it looks great on Gordon’s stat sheet."

When asked to his assess his own career, Last typically played down his own body of work.
"Plenty more talk the talk than walk the walk - I think I was the first ever captain to start a grand final on the bench! 

"But I think I always put the team first; that is probably why when the game is in the clinches I am usually first to sub myself off and get someone more talented on!"

Indeed, one of Last's traits has been his will to put his body on the line at every contest which has seem him embroiled in multiple debates with club neurologist Doug Bonham about whether it would be prudent for him to wear a concussion helmet during matches. 

"I think I have had three concussions in games and two in Roppongi. 

"During the Grand Final when I was concussed, I remember trying to smother the ball with my hands at the start of the second quarter, but, like many of my marks it slipped straight through my fingers and clocked me right in the temple. I came off immediately, however, found myself back on after a couple of minutes. I remember looking up at the YCAC restaurant and seeing stars flying everywhere and then forgetting which way we were going. I thought that I better have a proper spell at this point. I don't remember anything from the rest of the game.  

"When I finally figured out where I was the game was all but over and we were up by forty points. I apparently had to ask Bretty Whyborn if we were winning about 5 times. I am still upset that I spent the evening celebrating in the emergency room while the rest of the boys ran amuck in Muse (Goannas-approved club)!"

3 premierships and 4 grand finals in six years is testament to the strength of the team Last has helped oversee during his time at the club. Out of the three times reaching the summit in JAFL footy, he still sees the first taste of success as perhaps his finest hour.

"Back-to-back in 2015-16 was pretty special! To hold the cup up as Captain was a dream come true, even if I hardly had a touch in one game and got concussed in the other. So I think I will have to say the first flag in 2012 is my favorite one. 

"I was actually involved in the contest that got us over the line and tapped the ball on to Trav Wilson who delivered the 'handpass from God' for Dan McGrath's goal! Also I ripped my bicep muscle off my bone that game and didn't notice until the pain from my hangover celebrating subsided the next evening!"

In somewhat of a golden era for the JAFL, the past six years had seen some champions grace the field. His brother Andrew (Firsty) Last one particular example. In fact, when Dan Last made the All-Japan team in 2016, most thought the JAFL body mixed the both of them up. Asked about some of the best in Japan on and off-field, Last could certainly reel off some impressive names.

"Talking about the best I've played with, there are some great players to choose from. Honourable mentions to Rob Scarlett, Nick Payne, Brett Whyborn and Firsty, but I reckon Gordon Jones held the rare distinction of being the best footballer and worst coach I played with at the same time. Less defensive zones, more scratch matches! 

"With opposition players, I still think that I have only ever been able to tackle Michito Sasaki in the wet! He is hands down the best in the business in Japan. 

"Off-field, it had to be a tie between Evan Kerr and Owen 'Boots' Kearney - both card carrying brats.

"Also, in terms of tours, I was a big fan of Shanghai last year unlike most.  But you would have to be a Latvian Evangelical to not have had the time of your life at the Sendai Beach House tour of 2016!"

With all the success and good times, the hard work in keeping the club afloat could sometimes be easily overlooked. The amount of time volunteered into organizing club functions, keeping finances afloat, and the bits and pieces that need doing are tasks too time-consuming for most who run busy lives in one of the busiest cities in the world. This is where Last will be a huge loss for the club who are hoping other newer members will be able to take the slack in the post-Last era.
 
"Toughest period as a Goanna was getting the Ball at the Westin over the line in my year as president. It felt like months of blood sweat and tears went into that one! Thankfully it was a ripping party.  

"One thing that doesn't sit well with me is now that my daughter is the perfect age for Auskick I regret that we haven't pushed hard enough to build Goannas Auskick or increase women's involvement. I look forward to seeing these take off for the Goannas."

So, the question on the minds of most, is what are the chances of a future Goannas return for their favorite son?

"Very high! Even if it is as a touring Goanna at an Asian Champs, I'll be back!

"I am forever grateful for the good times I have had with the Goannas in Japan. A massive thanks to everyone who has been part of my journey as a footy-lover here, especially to the JAFL for their commitment to running such a great competition for us to take part in. 

"To the boys in the red and white, the couple hours having a kick each weekend has been the highlight of my week for the last six years. My teammates have become my best mates and no matter how many other teams I play for in the future the Goos will always be number 1!"


written by Oceans Huynh

Finally resolving the contract dispute that had kept Bash Brother out of the squad for the first two weeks of the season.  The Goannas moved confidently into their round against the Hawks safe in the knowledge that their third choice full back would at last be available.  Bash was able to interchange with Brett O'Conner who cut an extremely ginger figure.

It took a few kicks before the Goannas were able to play with aplomb.  Oceans conceded a fifty for what can only be described as chasing the player with the ball.

After giving up the first snag, It was Big happy Al who settled the Goannas into the match with a commanding mark and goal.  His first of six on the day, making him a well deserved half-best-on-ground.

The man he shared the title with, THE Last was at the heart of the dominating Goannas midfield.  winning nearly every ball Firsty, Lasty, Oceans, Ghirra were able to dictate the pace and direction of play throughout the course of the entire match.  Woody in particular showed some incredible patience waiting several minutes for Owen to run through on a give and go.

In the ruck, Doug Bonham has improved his play by an order of magnitude.  His clever play at the breakdown saw possession gained and moved into attack through the swift and beefy mitts of the big dawg.

With the game firmly in hand and the end of the first quarter, Yuji Yamamoto was finally allowed a run up front.  The athlete supreme made several calls for the pill.  However coach Bowes had not prescribed delivery, the skipper was quoted as saying "It'll be funnier just to mess with him".  Undeterred, Yuje still snagged a brace of sausage roles including an extreme angle beauty to close things down in the forth.

It was a good spirited game with many a cause for celebration, in particular Dan Last's celly nearly matched Chopper Reid's from last year for getting around himself.  Well done Lasty!

Another pair of goals was scored excellently from the back line by a surging Pistol Pete Chalmers.  Playing in his preferred back-line role, Petey ran through, spurring the offence magnificently.  Unfortunately, his performance was marred by the consumption of a post match strawberry brandy spritzer.  A sad end to an otherwise excellent day for the Goannas. 

1. Return of the Supercoach.
After his unceremonious exit following the Goannas' heartbreaking 2014 Grand Final loss. The Golden Whistle guru himself Tom Bowes returns to the fray for the Goannas to manage the magnets. Will Coach Bowes bring back his most famous gameplan of plonk himself in the forward pocket and kick two cheap goals? Only time will tell.

2. Debutant Double!
The Goannas are looking forward to welcoming two new players to the fold under the lights in Minatomirai tomorrow night. Jared "I'd rather be boarding" Barnes and Bret "Bigger biceps than Trav" O'Connor will both pull on the red and white for their first run. Go well lads!

3. Ins and Outs (Chopes and Changes)
Round 2 sees a plethora of changes to the team that beat the Tokyo Bay Suns in Round 1. The tissue has been placed on the selection table and the Goannas attack will be bolstered by the 3rd fastest man in Asia, Jason Fan, the Irishman Luke Dillon, Mr. Mount Fuji, Leon Appleby, and perennial pest Jarrod Woodward who returns from an apparently life-threatening hand injury. While the outs include big man Al Wyatt (still looking for his shirt in Osaka), captain Dan Last (still celebrating his two cheap goals in a 5 goal loss against Malaysian Warriors) and club president Sam Ghirardello (still talking to his new BFF Ricky Olarenshaw).

4. #Bunlife
Sausage Saloons are no more, the Goannas are a #Bunlife team now! With Chinatown next door to the ground, who will get on the end of a few steaming Buns this weekend? Owen "Boots" Kearney got a taste in Shanghai, while Pete-zza Chalmers was left wondering what could have BUN when ruckman Mitch Stace snaked his shot at goal after a brilliant chase down tackle.

5. No buns in  the Den! 
One thing is for certain there will be no over the top handpasses in the goalsquare to veteran Oceans "The Trip Advisor" Huynh. Many are questioning his commitment to the club after his efforts to infect the Shanghai touring party with legionaries disease by choosing THE WORST Airbnb in all of China last weekend!
 
6. The Old Enemy
The Poseidons don't look to be the easy beats that they were in recent years. The team has been building and their offseason pick up of Japan Goannas captain Kuno Yosuke will mean the easy goals are no more. There is even talk that Goannas' favourite son Luke Eyes will be heading down to the ground in his Eagles jumper to add his regulation seven goals to the Poseidons scoreline. With these two inclusions, the Goannas are going to be in for a real scrap. WE CAN'T WAIT!

​Jim Stynes, former gaelic player,  is well known for being the poster boy for football converts. A Brownlow medal in 1991 and 264 games with the Melbourne Demons would attest to that. 
Over the years fellow countrymen Tadhg Kennelly has followed suit while on the other side of the spectrum rugby converts like Israel Folau failed to adapt to the chaotic, lung-busting nature of Aussie rules.

Looking back into the archives, there has yet to be a convert hailing from one of Australia's most popular sports and pastimes - swimming. Until, of course, this year.

Takayuki Enomoto started training with the Tokyo Goannas late 2016 and in fact on Grand Final day came to run the water for the team after just hours earlier emerging from the water himself to win his heat in the men's long distance en-route his path to swim for Japan in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.
​

Asked about how gained an interest in our great game, he gave a simple answer. "I had been to Australia 4 times. That's when I first knew about AFL. I started to like it because it is so simple and extreme."

And his pick of teams?

"I support West Coast Eagles because the game I saw live the first time was a match where they won".

Despite his unfortunate choice in teams, he proceeded to fall in love with the game the same way we all did, just a bit later in life. So it was that Taka decided he wanted to be an AFL player despite his burgeoning swimming career. He didn't dispatch his swimming commitments altogether, instead tried to make the two schedules fit. Swim training would be on Saturday while Aussie rules took precedence on Sundays.

With plenty of teams to choose from he chose the famous red and white, explaining, "When I found out AFL is also played in Japan, I wanted to play it with Australians".

Playing with Australians also means you get awarded a nickname. Nothing has stuck permanently as yet but 'Grant Takatt' probably takes the cake at the moment. If you're wondering, that is after Grant Hackett, Australia's legendary long-distance swimmer of yesteryear. Feel free to make other suggestions in the comments section!

As this years pre-season kick-started the Goannas 2017 premiership defence, Taka took it on with intensity, determined to overcome the hurdles picking up a new sport presents. "I think controlling the kicking was the most difficult part to master". 

Whilst kicking is still a work in progress (like many other players in the team mind!), his marking has proved a feature clunking the pill at its highest point with those sticky mitts. He also counts fellow Goannas and Samurai star Yuji Yamamoto for helping him the most during training although seems to have forgotten his name, referring to him as "Japanese national team reinforcement player".

As round 1 approached, Taka was named in the starting line-up after an impressive pre-season training Futako Tamagawa down. He was given the No 9 jumper with his teammates confident he'll showing fellow number-sake Ben Cousins' prowess on-field but just without the white-line fever.

It was a tough first game as well against the experienced Tokyo Bay Suns. Taka made a solid start tackling and harassing every chance he got, showing some toughness in the contest as well. He certainly didn't look like a first-gamer out there, quickly earning many pats on the bums from his team mate (especially Owen 'Boots' Kearney who is a serial bum patter).

In the last quarter, Taka received a handball and streaked into the forward line before spearing a perfect drop punt through the big sticks for his first ever Aussie rules goal. Pandemonium momentarily broke out as teammates mobbed him from all angles. It was the biggest celebration of a goal since Doug Bonham almost scored one from the boundary last year.

With the second half of the split round one in the JAFL season taking place this evening at the Yokohama Country and Athletics Club the Goannas will be taking the opportunity to hit the track this afternoon by Futakotamagawa for a fitness led by TokyoFit followed by new(ish) coach Tom Bowes' first chance to address his chargers.

On the walk down from Futakotamagawa Station to the riverside oval last week's tour to Osaka is sure to be the main topic of conversation. For those of you who won't be able to make it out to training to hear the stories first hand here are the things  the Goannas learned while having a kick in Kansai.

1. SatTrav goes anywhere
Further depleted following the round one win in Yokohama, the Goannas found direction in 150+ JAFL game veteran and team Senpai, Travis Wilson. SatTrav navigated the team out of a midfield low on rotations, through the more obscure parts of Kansai and most importantly, around the dance floor of the Osaka Namba discothèque.
 
2. Nintendo Switch in the Mushroom Kingdom
Buoyed by his blockbuster Easter Saturday performance and proximity to Nintendo Co. headquarters in Kansai, coach Sam Ghirardello handed the captaincy to Pete ‘Super Nintendo’ Chalmers  for the tournament. Borrowing inspiration from Super Mario, captain Chalmers asked his Goannas combatants to reclaim the kingdom (Anzac Cup) from the throws of Japan Samurais' captain, Michito Sakaki, and his Koopa Troop.
 
3. (Boots) got hauls in different area codes
Seemingly this rousing pre-match address had quite the impact on Owen Kearney, with the People’s Boot casting aside his recent kicking woes for four tournament goals and a super-sausage from outside 50 in the Osaka clerb (her age, not metres).
 
4. The new religion taking Japan by storm – the Church of Yuuj!
The prior Easter Saturday fixture had ignited a religious streak in Goannas’ swingman, Ijuy Otomamay, albeit by enacting the role of Judas in electing to play for the Japan Samurais against the Super Mario inspired (and Luigi Ghirardello coached) Goannas. Fortunately, Yuuj returned to neutralise Osaka Dingoes forward, Matt Gale in the Goannas second fixture. Otomamay declared to Goannas Media post-game that he was, ‘pretty chuffed’ with his performance on Gale. Enter the Church of Yuuj.
 
5. Sausage Saloon franchises now limited. Get in quick!
Not to be outdone by Boots, ‘Big Dog’ Bonham opened his Sausage Saloon franchise in 2017. Seemingly doing anything to protect his new business interests, The Dog placed himself in the heart of the Goannas defense (and even into the Hiroshima Cranes attack) to nullify any competition to his burgeoning sausage franchise. Goannas Media also has it on good authority that the much loved cult figure is also at looking at expanding his empire with Tokyo’s first 'Pizza Izakaya' franchise.
 
6. Wyatt to sweat on MRP
With ‘Big Al’ Wyatt proving his value across the field over the course of the Anzac Day Cup, the Goannas’ faithful would have been delighted in the return of the transposable key forward. Such sentiment will surely soon be dashed with the JAFL likely to review two incidents taking place in the early hours of Sunday morning. Video footage captured of a soiled t-shirt cannoning out of a fifth floor hotel room is unlikely to assist the Goannas forward’s chances, but rather just reinforce his ‘Pest from the West’ moniker.
 
7. Back to school, back to school
Even after completing his AFL Japan umpiring accreditation over the course of the pre-season, Sam Onigiridello could be forgiven for any confusion surrounding the recent 2017 rule changes. Embarrassingly however, Goannas Media microphones have picked up the veteran ruckman asking the officiating umpire in the Goannas v Cranes tie whether he is able to play on following a marking contest. When informed that this was within the rules, Onigiridello is understood to say, “oh, sweet”. Onigiridello refused to comment when approached by Goannas Media.
 
8. Check-in for the Goannas defense closes at 11:59
With some football media circles questioning the exclusion of Blair Armstrong from the round one fixture against the Tokyo Bay Suns, the hierarchy down at Futakotamagawa decided to send Blairman Mao by Shinkansen to Osaka to avoid any tantrums from the rebounding defender over the required commute to Tokyo Narita Airport. The Shinkansen however, notorious for their unreliability in Japan, saw the blairy-eyed star only just arriving in time to check-in at the team hotel – hours behind his Jetstar Japan travelling teammates. Fortunately, the nightblair commute did not seem to faze the dependable defender in a performance deserving of a Magners Blairy.
 
9. How to make an Long Island Iced Tea
Main alcohol: Triple sec, Tequila, Gin, Vodka, Rum
Served: on the rocks; poured over ice
Standard drinkware: Highball glass
Other ingredients: lemon juice, Gomme syrup, cola
Preparation: Add all ingredients into a highball glass filled with ice. Stir gently. Garnish with lemon spiral. Serve with straw.

With the 2017 Anzac Day Cup in Osaka only one sleep away, there are a number of burning questions facing the travelling Goannas squad:
 
1. Can Chalmerakis do it again?
After a runaway best on ground performance a week ago, all eyes will be on Peter Chalmers and whether or not he can be the Anzac Day hero that the Goannas will no doubt need. With a depleted squad of 7 players, the boys will need the elite run and pressure of the Magners Marvel if they are to be any chance of taking out the Anzac Day Cup.
 
2. Could this away trip fix Boots’ yips?
After famously lighting up the Sendai Super Dome with an inflated 5 sausages last season, could this weekend’s change of postcode be what Owen Bootsma needs to get over his goal kicking woes? After a 0.4 effort against the Suns last week, the People’s Boot will need to be on target in Osaka if he hopes to retain his spot in a team boasting a host of Dead-eye Dauds.  
 
3. Will the Goannas be exposed as flat track bullies?
With the exception of the aforementioned Tour de Sendai, it’s been two years since the Goannas left the comfort of Kanto to contest a game of footy. Although they will be well-rested after flying down in comfort with Jetstar, there are some serious question marks around whether the Goannas’ “kick it to Trav” game plan will hold up on the traditionally larger fields of Kansai. While the Goannas have a strong fan base all over the country on the back of their “Don the Bash” campaign, they will be in hostile territory among the footy-starved Dingoes faithful.
 
4. Who will get the match up on Matty Gale?
With close to 100 goals to his name in a 6-game JAFL season, Matt “Gary” Gale will no doubt prove a handful for whichever unlucky Goanna gets the job. Often referred to as the Brendan Fevola of Japan footy due his love for kicking bags of sausages on suburban football grounds and his ability to sniff out the best spot for a craft beer no matter how remote the location, the fans will be out in droves to see the Dingoes President displaying his wares. Much improved defender Yuji Prestigiamoto is the current front-runner for the position.
 
5. Do the boys have the depth to get the win off the field?
While there are some obvious gaps in the on-field lineup, the biggest concern for the coaches this week has been the team structure for the boat race at the Fiji Bar after party. In an unexpected turn of luck, Oceans has been a late scratching for the trip, significantly increasing the Goannas’ chances of defending their crown from the Anzac Day Cup two years ago. While fitting 7 players into a 9-man boat race will no doubt be a challenge, a number of game plans based around letting Big Al drink all nine beers are being discussed.

Go get em 'Annas!!