2010 Shianghai Tour …The write up !

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It will take a while we hope to get it done by christmas!
The UnOffficial Shianghai trip Write-UP
Firstly the Goannas would like to say thank you to the China Boys for holding such a well organised tournament. The buses were on time the tournament went to time the players and supporters were well fed and the party went of without a hitch. Well done!
Pre Tournament – The bus ride and Pre – Tournament banter
The Goannas started early that morning and most were sleepy on the bus. Giffo was all fired up with red -bull and ready for a big day following a few big nights that he had had!  He was the live wire of the tour and everyone (including Fev) would know him well by the end of the tournament. The Goannas looked sleepy on the bus and A-dog made everybody`s  day falling over his own bag! In typical Goanna style the banners were left on the bus; Appsy went back once and then  Huddo sprinted over there and even Kayo (appsy’s landlord) was ever there but to no avail. Those banners were never to be unveiled that day and in true Goanna fashion we plowed on.

The venue was great with fantastic turf, something we are not used to. The Goannas were up third so we were in no hurry to start warm ups as there was a great need to keep our game plan a secret! Or at least not do too many “hammys” before the first bounce. The Goannas brains trust Richo, Sully and Nicko were huddled on the ground in front to the new magnetic board, while Jun Sekiguchi (The Gooch) was tireless in his taping of players, some winding up looking like mummies… Finally the taping was finished and the boys ran over for the pre-games photo. The sight of these lads with there bulging biceps, the smell of lineament and serious facial expressions were a sight to see.

Huddo led the warm ups and it was as professional as any AFL trainer would do. Unfortunately during the warm-up we had the first injury of the tour, poor Nicko, the best tour organizer the goannas has ever known, he was out with the knee injury he received two weeks before. Unfortunately he would not be the last of the day as the Goannas seems to drop faster than ducks on the beginning of the shooting season.

 The Indonesia vs Goannas
The Goannas finally got there chance to take the field and they crowd roared and cheered as they ran on to the field. Bali and Indonesia were one of the pre-tournament favorites and they were going to be hard to beat. Dan Jenkins excelled in giving the pre-match pep-talk and managed a Guinness book record for the number of times a certain taboo word was used! The Goannas got the first hit out and the moved the ball forward unfortunately that was probably one of the only high-lites of that game as the Garudas controlled much of the game.  The Goannas found it hard to get into their rhythm as we were such a patch work of players from all over Japan. The first half was all the Garudas with only one real foray into the forward line by Carlos, but unfortunately it was a lost chance.

At half time we were confident but the pre-tournament expectations were slowly becoming a memory. Rondog was feeling very loose from the day before had to bolt to the mens rooms at half time. It was obvious the pre-game nerves were slow in reacting! The bright spot of the game were the Goannas Japanese legion held their positions with pride and courage with Toyama-san, Kuno-san and Kase  were well on the way to a great day. Once again lady luck was not with us with again and we lost the general of our back-line Huddo with a hammy.
The Goannas eventually went down to the Garudas by a 5 goals so we had to pull something out of the hat to save the day!

Japan 1 1 7
Indonesia 6 2 38

Goal kickers – Sully 1?
Best players Carl, Huddo, Kuno, Rodey and yuta
Injuries – Huddo…the dreaded hammy

 Barbarians vs Goannas

The Barbarians were a mixture of the left overs from the China reds, the student Samurais and Chinese with a sprinkling from the other teams. This was probably the game we should have had first to clean out the cob webs.  The Goannas made a few changes and the game was a little easier than playing the Garudas with Ball sax and Big Mike dominating in the ruck, Toyama was carving out the flanks with help from Woodsy. A-dog was a revelation across half back as he managed to increase his stats by fumbling the same mark several times. The front line of the Goannas was working a treat with nozza, crazy horse and Dan A creating space. Brendan Bolton was our spear head and kicked a goal that he couldn`t believe. His mum and Dad were so proud! The ball kept coming forward and Dan A swooped on a ball that spilt over the back of the pack and kicked an easy goal in Steve Milne fashion.

Japan 4 6 30
Barbarians 0 1 1

Best Josh, Andy P, Toyama, Dan A and giffo
Goal Kickers – BB 1, Dan A 1, Josh 1, ???? 1
Injuries- Ronnie  hammy, Dan A neck, Kuno (aka as sekiguchi for insurance purposes) cut chin…six stitches worth and a trip with Annmarree and Aoyama – knee

 Singapore vs Goannas
The Goannas started the Singapore game in explosive fashion. The engine was finally running hot and the Goanna brains trust of Richo, Sully, Rodey, Nicko and anyone around made some masterly decisions while on the grass. The Barbarians lost two of their best players Ken and Nakamura who were drafted during the lunch break to become Goannas, a masterly stroke of Sheedy like genius. Immediately the fresh legs had an effect on the Goannas game, scoring the first goal. The Goannas were really playing a great brand of footy, making best use of the jumper clash with players running well Toyama, Kase and Nakmura combining well. The boys in the center, Rodey and Josh, winning the ball time and time again, while Carl picking up a lot of kicks on the flanks. The Goannas looked as though we would go all the way but unfortunately Dan McGrath (The fourth Cloke) popped his shoulder again and instead of supporting the backline he was off to hospital.. and that was the turning point of the game. The Goannas dug deep to maintain the momentum leading into the second half but were slowly overrun by better and well drilled footy side.

An American`s View of the Singapore Game

The Goannas started strong showing heart, courage and determination pulling ahead 13 – 12 in spite of injuries  and some spotty officiating. Aericans love to verbally assault the refs at any opportunity ) though we did not emerge victorious we can hold our heads high, as we showed the good ol` American Ingenuity, guts and dignity in defeat ( with some trash talk in the tank for the next game) Great day of footy
Mike A

Singapore 4 5 29
Japan 2 0 12

by Hioyuki Toyama

Quotes for the tour

The FIG: You should see it angry!

Dan: (aka Appsy) I love it! (starter), I love it! (excited), I loooove it!?! (don’t you?), I love it? (questioning oneself), I love it!! (confirmation)

Sully: Nozza, you coming off? what’s wrong? You injured?

Nozza: Nah, I’m playing forward pocket and couldn’t be f**ked running

all the way back


Ronnie: Nozza! Make space! Draw your man by leading into the pockets.

Nozza: Yep OK Ronnie! How about I run him over the boundary?

Ronnie: (confused) Brilliant mate.


Appsy: “so what do you do in Singapore?”

Big Red: “I work in Finance.”

Appsy: “That’s where the money is!

Appsy again: Everyting in Singapore is really close – I love it


Huddo:”Dan spent 3 hours on the throne today with his pants up” 







Frank the tank: “I played 2 years of NFL I should be better at this!! I tell you what – I am gonna do loads of training and come out next year and kick this F%#king ball over that bridge over there” [the bridge was about 1 km away]



Shanghai taxi driver at 5am on the Monday: wooooahhh! (Ronnie would’ve been proud)

Huddo:” the Germans absolutely kick it. They f**ken love it.”

Kayo (Appsy’s missus) to Rowey: “Appsy’s not my husband, he is my tenant, he pays the rent”

Rowey straightfaced to Oges: “Mate why would Appsy bring his landlord on a footy trip?”



Huddo and Ronnie on the TV piss trough at the Camel Bar
Huddo: “Its pissing down in Hamburg”
Ronnie: “Jeez I never thought I’d get to piss on a German soccer player in Shanghai” Boys in a dodgy backstreet vendor’s shop at the Bund;
Female Vendor: “This shirt is really nice and it matches your eyes”

Saxxy: “Yeah but its got cardboard stuck to it”

Female Vendor: “Don’t worry – it will disappear when you wash it”Saxxy: “Yeah but so will the shirt”


Captain Snooze to himself

`My hamstrings  ar F- Huge – any wonder I don`t hurt them



Rodey to whoever during a half time break!

I`d be better at football if I wasn`t so intelligent!